May 3, Houston: The big one -- the Inprint reading -- occurs at the Alley Theatre on Monday, May 3. Do not miss it or you'll be sorry. I'm not kidding -- I'm going to say the craziest, most intellectual yet hilarious stuff I can think of, and I'll be sharing the stage with the ultra sexy Oscar Casares, too.
June 24, Houston: I'm one of the peeps scheduled to read at Poison Pen, at Houston's famous Poison Girl bar. Besides me, everyone there will be ultra, *super* sexy. Come see me and drink!
June 26, Washington, DC: I'll be reading at the American Library Association conference. Come on down.
My other blog: Go read my the Houston Chronicle parenting blog (or my ChronMomBlog, as I like to call it) and make sure my kids won't resent me more than other kids resent their own parents.
Buy my new novel, Lone Star Legend. Already did? Well, buy a few more for your friends, then. :)
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
I don’t know what Buddhist monks do, but maybe this is similar. (Or maybe it’s only Level 1 in their lifelong video game.)Lately I’m starting to believe that all anger and all violence is rooted in hurt feelings and fear. And I’m on a continual quest to control my temper. (My temper is roughly 400% better than it used to be, but there’s still room for improvement.) So this means my latest and greatest technique for temper-tempering is stopping to examine why I’m angry, and if the reason is another, underlying emotion (like fear or hurt feelings), then I force myself to admit that and express it in a reasonable way.
That’s not easy. And you know what’s even less easy? Seeing someone else act like an angry jerk and then trying to figure out if they’re hurt or scared and then forcing myself to have compassion for that person and to find a way to deal with him/her without resorting to reciprocal anger. That’s so difficult that I hardly ever get it right. But I keep trying.
It’s like a detective show. It’s like a puzzle. Only some things in this world make me feel angry. So which ones are they, and why? No, honestly. What is the real reason why? And how can I use that to relate to others and to quit being such a bitch all the time?
I’m working on that. That’s my hobby now. That, and the knitting.
different kinds of crafty
I recently went to all the libraries near me and checked out every knitting book they had. In one of the Stitch ‘n Bitch books, author Debbie Stoller lays out the four types of knitters, with equal fun-poking and discussion of the pros and cons of each. The first type was knitters who are really into the technical aspect of knitting and choose to make things that are challenging and show off their skillz. Okay, got it.
The second type was dubbed “She’s Gotta Have It” knitters, and they’re the ones who see something they want to wear/own and then figure out how to knit it. And that, for the most part, is me. Even though I’m a noob, I know I’m that kind of knitter because I’m that kind of seamstress, crocheter and beader, too. Debbie went on to say that those types rarely learn skills outside of their comfort zone, which made me bristle for about three seconds before I realized that I didn’t mind that being true, as long as I knew enough knitting to knit what I like.
Then there were two other kinds of knitters that I can’t remember. Sorry. But it’s there in her book, if you want to go read it for yourself.
Anyhow. This categorization of crafters made the wheels in my mind turn. Yes, the number-one consideration for me is how the finished piece looks, and whether I want to wear it or see it being worn by someone else. Of course it is. But could there really be other kinds of knitters on Earth? And, if so, would I be able to identify them in the future?
So then, the other day, I was skimming through the forums on Ravelry.com and saw peeps talking about Vogue Knitting magazine. That interested me because Vogue Knitting is a big part of why I learned to knit. Every season of my adult life, I’ve browsed through that mag at the racks and wished that I could knit. So it was with extreme rapture that, after taking the knitting lessons last month, I was finally able to justify my very own subscription to Vogue Knitting, whose Fall ’09 issue was so beautiful, it made me sick. Every orange sweater in it, I wanted. And now I can have them. NOW I CAN KNIT THEM!!!!!1!!!1!!!! I HAVE THE POWER!! JUST LIKE HE-MAN DID, WHEN HE HAD THAT SWORD FROM CASTLE GREYSKULL!! EXCEPT THAT I DON’T THINK HE DID CRAFTS – HE JUST KILLED PEOPLE OR WHATEVER!!
So I’m on Ravelry, and they’re talking about the Vogue, and some of them are hating on it. They’re like “Oh, the sweaters are weird” and “The models are posed so weirdly” and “They’re all skinny and I’m not! Eff Vogue!”
And I became confused. Because, one, how could people not see that Vogue Knitting is the perfect blend of crafty magazine and fashion magazine?? Of course the models are going to be skinny and bent at weird angles. But the sweaters aren’t weird, they’re beautiful. They’re fashionable.
Second: Are we not knitters? We are Devo! (In this sentence, Devo means crafty.) Hence, we can take the Vogue sweater patterns and make them whatever size we want. Can’t we? Hope so, because I’m wearing at least one orange Vogue sweater this winter, y’all, even if I have to do quantum physics on the pattern, first.
Then, after all that thoughtage, I realized that people who dislike Vogue might be those other kind of knitters – the first kind Deb Stoller talked about. The kind who really, really like the process of knitting and don’t see it as a means to an end.
And, for those people, there is Interweave knitting magazine.
Right? Am I right? I mean, I like Interweave, too, but I can see that it’s a little hardcore for me. But, at the same time, I love and respect the people who like that magazine better, and all the other kinds of knitters. Because we’re all sisters here, aren’t we? (Yes. Guys, too.) We’re all fellow witches in the coven of craft.
And right now I’m having a flashback to the mid-‘90s, when I used to read the sewing newsgroups on Usenet and be amazed at the vicious arguments that broke out there, among crafters, on a forum that was meant to unite us. Good times, good times, as they say.
the sister-witch site in the coven of me
I finally got my Official Author Site, gwendolynzepeda.com, redesigned. If you look at it right after I’ve posted this entry, you’ll see that it needs a content update, too. But still, it’s kind of new and kind of fresh, and I feel like we should celebrate. So, pretty soon, I’m gonna have some sort of contest and give away an ARC (Advance Reading Copy) of my novel that’s coming out in January. To one of y’all, for free, with free shipping. Signed, too, maybe.
I just have to think up a tortuous, narcissistic contest quiz, first. (One that will probably be easily winnable using Google, though.) That’ll be next entry. Also next entry, I’ll tell y’all my favorite easy summer recipes, most of which involve liquor and/or Mexican chili powder.
Take care until then.
Love,
Gwen
Labels: knitting, psychobabble, writing
6:37 PM #Comments:
I am definitely a process knitter — it's more about knitting something and learning something new that about the finished product, but that said, I always knit things because I think I'd want them, not just because they look complicated. However, I almost never keep anything I've knitted. I've given almost everything away. I think after several weeks of working with a project I get so sick of it I never want to see it again.When I first moved to Korea and didn't have a job, I had been knitting for a long time but hadn't progressed my skills very much. So I challenged myself with each new project I would learn a new technique: cables, lace, etc. That helped me a lot as a knitter.
# posted by
Brit : 1:42 AM
Oh, I love Ravelry, but it reminds me of Usenet forums. Fortunately, I learned my lesson there, and apply it to Rav: if I don't like what happens in a thread, I stop reading the thread. Likewise useless arguments: I skip right over 'em.
I'm "process" too - I like the knitting part. I also like the starting part, and have untold WIPs lying about. As bad habits go, that one's not so bad.
# posted by
Corvi : 9:54 AM
Love the new attitude, Gwen. One of the main reasons why I stopped participating in your blog and keeping up with your life was because you were angry all the time and you seemed to have a fan base that loved you being angry all the time. I hope that you will be as successful as Mary J. Blige was in being able to keep her existing fan base even when she released songs about being happy in addition to creating an even greater legion of followers who respect such a classy lady that just doesn't do drama anymore. *big hugs*
# posted by
Tiffany : 12:19 PM
Oh! I want to win my own signed copy of one of your books. Everytime I order one, I think, gee, I wish Gwen would do a book signing in my town. But I'm lousy at quizes. Oh well.
M.R.
# posted by
: 12:42 PM
I haven't read Deb Stoller's books and I'm wondering if there's a type of knitter called "I want THAT." A couple of friends of mine own a yarn shop. They tell me about the number of people who come into the shop with a magazine in their hands and declare, "I want that."
In some cases, the sweater won't match the body type of the knitter, or the color is bad with her coloring. If they try to steer the knitter to a more body friendly sweater or suggest a different color, they are met with, "NO! I want THAT!"
I'm sure there's a army of knitters with closets-ful of ill-fitting, sallow-face making sweaters. It's a hazard of the hobby.
# posted by
CJ : 2:32 PM
And for what it's worth, I never thought of you as "angry all the time." I know there's stuff that goes on that you don't blog about (like all of us) and that stuff is bound to drag you down.
It's part of life that we go through valleys and sometimes it's hard to see the sun. I'm sure glad my real life friends have stuck with me through those times and I'm proud to say that I have stuck with you, my virtual friend, through those times.
# posted by
CJ : 2:35 PM
I like contest that force the participants to create something that amuses me--no Google required!
Hooray for contests.
# posted by
Carrie : 3:10 PM
Gwen, about anger, oh boy.. where to start? First off, I think people who write are generally not your general cola commercial happy go lucky variety, if you know what I mean. When I write my best I am at the most miserable. I think that goes for a lot of other artists too, musicians, poets, painters and such.
I do the fun job of waiting tables and I am there to make money. I have had people argue with me, call me a liar, swear at me, or just the general rudeness of never a thank you. When I was younger, it would get to me and make me cry. Now, I know it is THEIR PROBLEM, not MINE! I cannot control other people and their anger, I can only work on myself.
Now I just lick their food and move on.
Joking of course.
Tracey The Woodlands
# posted by
: 3:39 PM
Tiffany: Now I feel bad because I misled you. :(
I only meant that I was trying to calm my temper in real life -- not that it would lessen in any way on my blog!
In all seriousness, though... I appreciate that you felt the need to stop reading my blog or being my friend because my behavior made you uncomfortable.
But I don't think it's fair for you to characterize my readers as people who loved me "being angry all the time." If you got that impression about a few people based on some of the comments left on this blog over the past 12 years, I can't argue with that. But that's not enough evidence for you to paint a whole group of strangers with the same brush.
# posted by
Gwen : 3:48 PM
I have been reading you for a long, long time and I didn't think of you as being angry as much as miserable, understimulated, unappreciated, and poised to change your life in a major way. I'm not assuming anything about who or what the first section of this post refers to, but I agree with it. I've come to the same conclusions in dealings with my ex husband which is basically the only area of my life where I am even capable of feeling anger anymore, I'm so evolved.
# posted by
: 3:54 PM
Brit: Funny -- that you make things you want and then give them away. And I can imagine getting sick of looking at a project that takes so long to create...
Corvi: That's my big fear -- that I'll have multiple WIPs languishing at once. I'm trying to force myself, already, to swear that I'll never do that, even though I see that most knitters do. :)
Just the word Usenet cracks me up and makes me think of the most epic, hilarious flamewars I've ever seen. It's like the flame rite of passage, isn't it?
M.R.: Aw! Okay, it won't be a quiz-quiz, then. It'll be easier and more fun. (But still narcissistic. It *has* to feed my ego in some way, y'all. That's the only thing that'll get me to the post office with signed books.)
CJ: Ha. Yeah... I could say that there are a lot of pictures of sallow-face-making FOs online. Or that there are a lot of "I Want That" people in the malls who don't shop at all. :)
But I think the other two categories were... like... experimental knitters? And I can't remember the other for the life of me.
I'm happy to be knitting now because there are only 4 colors on earth that I *don't* look sallow in, and persimmon-y orange is one of them. Hence the Vogue props.
Carrie: How about a contest where you get to knit me an orange sweater (one that amuses you, of course) and I pick my fave?
:)
# posted by
Gwen : 3:58 PM
Hello! Never commented before, but have been reading for a year or so. Anyways, I'm a social worker, and I try to teach my angry-for-good-reason teenage clients to think exactly the way you describe. In fact, you've reminded me to buy this poster for my office: http://portal.creativetherapystore.com/cts/cat/img/TCA-2_l.jpg
So thank you, and I totally agree with you on the cause of anger. I know it's true for me.
Also, you've got a swell blog here and you seem like an equally swell person. (Although I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that, it's always nice to hear.)
# posted by
Anne Claire : 8:13 PM
Ooooooh ... you got a good Kirkus Review! They hate everything! What was it a review for?
Lisa
# posted by
: 9:26 PM
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